Thursday, October 18, 2007

Red Sox Nation Building

I'm watching the game right now and we are at the top of the 7th inning. The Red Sox, who I had pretty much written off, are winning. But I am wondering a few things-

1. What is it with the extensive NECKWEAR???? One player appears to be wearing his mother's string of pearls. Maybe her 50s pumps were not his size? And pitcher Josh Beckett seems to be wearing something woven and of hemp with a heart cut out attached.

2. Poor, poor Terry Franconia. He keeps his head down, chews gums with jaws working like the shafts that power the wheels of a locomotive. How does he relax, if ever?

3. Why are the Cleveland fans waving towels or washclothes or barkeep rags or ...something? The Pittsburgh Steelers tried that. It was a failure.

4. There is a short in our living room light. In this house it's not surprising. But you know that your husband is a gadget/mad scientist/inventor type when your son asks if Dad programmed the living room to turn on and off when someone walks in and out of the room. (Oh that, and your son is as clueless as only teenage boys can be).

5. Just saw the beer commercial when the guys bring bottles of beer into an opera and watch helplessly as the opera singer makes the bottles crack. That's funny. And only 1 in 10 beer commercials are.

6. And what are the little goatee, goatee-wanna-bes, tufts of hair growing haphazardly on player's faces? They remind me of the little pencils with stiff brush attached that we used to use to brush away the eraser shavings when we were typing. In other words, "not a look". That's one thing (of many)that I love about the military- no beards or facial hair.

7. Beckett seems to be a good pitcher but is a lousy fielder. He just got an error. If he blows the game it won't matter how many strikes he threw- ya know?

8. Why doesn't Boston have anyone warming up in the Bullpen? It's the bottom of the 7th.

9.Why am I staying up so late to watch this game? The lack of sleep will surely wreck havoc with my looks. I need my beauty sleep- let me assure you.

10. Do the Red Sox players who are drumming with empty water bottles know that it is a law in Massachusetts that you hav to recycle?

11. I still don't understand naming your son Coco Crisp. And I don't care what country you're from.


Anonymous said...

No more sweating and ruminating - they won. No exclamation point there, however. Following the Sox for so long I have learned that they tend to fizzle right at the end. I'll stay up to watch the game on Saturday - when they win THAT one, THEN I can join in with the cheering them on crowd.(secretly, though, I hope the Rockies win the pennant - they really ARE good most of the time!!

Anonymous said...

I'd rather be named Coco Crisp than ANSELM ERNEST. I think I'll change my name to Coco Puff or maybe even Sue (forget it queers, I'm as straight as they come)

David L Alexander said...

"Why are the Cleveland fans waving towels or washclothes or barkeep rags or ...something?"

It's all Clevelanders can afford since the job market has been lousy for years. If people from Beantown didn't think they were the center of the known universe, they'd figure this out for themselves.

Cleveland Rocks. Go Tribe!!!

erin is nice said...

1. What is it with the extensive NECKWEAR????And pitcher Josh Beckett seems to be wearing something woven and of hemp with a heart cut out attached.

ha! last night i said "michael what is around that guy's neck?" and he said "i have no idea"

frival said...

The neckwear you see most of the players wearing is a titanium weave. There is a theory that titanium helps the body to recover from stress more quickly and that it can be absorbed through the skin. Those necklaces started becoming popular in 2004 I think and now you'll find a good number of the players wearing them.

Also, Coco isn't his real name - it's Covelli Loyce Crisp, Coco is just his nickname. Why in the world he picked it or allowed it to hang on him, I have no idea. You have to respect someone who can deal with that kind of nickname though.

And yeah, the goatee-wannabe's do look pretty silly IMO as well. Who knows, maybe when you make a few million a year they look good. Or maybe they just misread the Old Testament proscription against trimming your sideburns, who knows.

Madeline said...

I can only register my disgust. You, Mary Alexander, a traditionalist? Ha! I'd as soon call Hillary a lady! If you were, indeed, a traditionalist, you would follow the ancient household tradition of rooting for the Yankees, and despising the Red Sox. Your children's closets would not be littered with rags, called Jerseys, bearing the colors and numbers of Patriot Players! You would be a New York fan, like your father before you. Bah! Your fickleness on this point casts into serious doubt your loyalty in general.

Anonymous said...

Well, well, there are Yankee diehards amongst us!! Real-and I mean REAL- tradition is the old Dodger fan, Yankee adversary through and through! With the Dodgers leaving Ebbets Field for the left coastin 1957,Dodger fans left for the Red Sox and brought their animosity with them. Come to think of it, almost everyone hates the Yankees!! As for Yankee-loving infecting the blood of whole generations of families, well, that's the way contagious diseases work. Too bad about your father, Mary. I thought he was smarter than that!!
(BTW, why is this Madeline character snooping through your sons' closets?? Is she your nanny or something? Sounds pretty bazaar to me)

sue almeda said...

Hey Mary,
I hate to burst your bubble but I don't think it's gum they're chewin' It's Skoal... And the spitting!... The spitting! I can barely watch. I can't enjoy my nachos cuz I feel like throwing up. UUgghh!

Lily said...

I would have to agree wholeheartedly with number six, preferring a military clean-shaven appearance over facial hair of any sort. I also wondered about a mother who would call her son Coco Crisp. LOL. I'm glad that has been cleared up!